


Hurricane

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 07:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12525708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: Tommy reflects on his love for Barbara





	Hurricane

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC... no copyright infringement intended

Love can strike you at the strangest of moments. Take when I realised that I was in love with Barbara. She was lying on the ground, blood oozing from a shotgun wound to her stomach, and all I could think was ‘don’t leave me, I love you’.

I thought about it later, tried to rationalise it away. Helen had just lost our baby and had walked out on me, I was feeling emotional. The list of excuses went on and on, but in the end that was all they were; excuses. I wasn’t in love with Helen and I never had been; I was in love with Barbara.

I didn’t do anything about it, I was too busy worrying about her and her recovery. There was also the fact that I was scared; I doubted she would welcome my attentions, or accept that they were genuine, and so I decided to keep my revelation to myself and just be there for her as I always had been.

When she was held hostage on her first case back I regretted my decision, convinced that she was going to die. I raced to her, determined to storm the building and rescue her, only to be held back by armed response. That time outside, trying to get her to answer the phone, worrying about what was happening to her, was pure hell. The relief I felt when I finally held her in my arms was indescribable, and I swore then and there that no one would ever hurt her again.

Only they did, and I’m ashamed to say that it was me that hurt her.

Helen came back, and I welcomed her into my life with open arms. It was cowardly but the easy option. Helen was what was expected of me; my mother adored her, she had the right pedigree, and in some ways I felt as if I owed her a second chance.

So, I resumed my marriage.

I could tell that Barbara wasn’t impressed. Unusually for her there was no unsolicited advice or sarcastic commentary, but I could see how much I had fallen in her eyes, and it hurt. 

And then Helen died.

I withdrew from the world, but especially from Barbara. She was the only person who could have reached me and eased my tormented soul and, as much as I craved an end to the agony, I didn’t deserve it. My actions had caused her so much pain, it was selfish to expect her to be my salvation.

Barbara had other ideas.

She tried to check up on me repeatedly; I brushed her off. She tried to talk to me about my drinking; I called her an intrusive pest. Whatever kindness she showed me I threw it back in her face, and yet she kept on trying. I slept with Julia Oborne and was arrested for her murder; Barbara rallied the troops, risked her career, let me use her as a verbal punchbag, and showed me nothing but kindness.

It was a relief to have her back in my life.

Things didn’t run smoothly. During our first case after my return to work we came close to losing everything we had fought so hard to build. Barbara turned on me, and everything I said or did was wrong. The pain this caused me was overwhelming, and I reacted badly; I became the arrogant ponce I had been when we first met, the person she had hated with a passion.

It took time, and a large serving of humble pie on both our parts, but we made it through. It was actually a turning point for both of us, and allowed us to see that what we had was unbreakable.

But still I didn’t tell her that I was in love with her.

It was stupid because we spent all our time together. In work or out of it, it didn’t matter, we only wanted to be with each other. The love was there, but it was unspoken; neither of us took that final step.

It all changed that Christmas.

We had gone to Howenstow, and when we woke on Christmas Eve everything was covered in a thick blanket of virgin snow. Barbara had been almost hyper, demanding that she and I pull on our warmest clothes and head out for a snowball fight. I didn’t have the heart to say no.

After two hours our noses were glowing red, our fingers were frozen, and crystals of white clung to our hair. I looked at her, really looked at her, and then I couldn’t help myself; I had to kiss her.

I don’t know exactly what I expected to happen; at best for her to push me away, at worst for her to slap me. She didn’t do either. Instead she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back.

We kissed until we were both breathless, and then we kissed some more. Somehow, we ended up lying in the snow, our clothes becoming damp, but we didn’t care. We had finally found each other.

We have been married for three years now, and some days I still feel as if I am experiencing a vivid dream. But it’s real. Hurricane Barbara did come along, and she turned my world upside down.

I don’t regret one second of it.


End file.
